inside my mind

i'm waiting for the burnout.

it's coming, i know it is. i feel like some sort of sick psychopath because i'm actually looking forward to it. i always feel so differently from others just for the fact that i embrace the negatives and discard the positives. what kind of person does that make me? i mean, really, when you think about it, what kind of fucked up person does that make me?

sighs.

why am i so masochistic.

i am living, i am living, i am living.

screw this shit, i am not. this isn't living. this is functioning due to requirement. requirements i impose on myself.

...

the past and future are non-existent. only now is real.

i need to rememeber that.