there is more to me than... t h i s

numb. resonate life into this jaded soul i've shaped. . .

i think of all the realizations or so-called ephiphanys i've had, this is one realization worth really acknowledging.

i've come to the conclusion that i am tired of allowing negativity consume my life. i am tired of believing that sadness is the only true feeling there is to feel. i am tired of feeling helpless to the situations which constantly surround my life. & most of all, i am tired of how i assess emotions and myself.

it's as if i've brainwashed myself into believing that not feeling hopeless will make me something less of a substantial person.

i mean, really, whatthefuck have i done to myself?

living like this is not living at all. i feel like i've buried any light i ever had deep inside hurt upon hurt.

real strength is overcoming negativity; not letting it control me.

but i also understand that asserting this realization doesn't mean everything will be ok. it is only a realization of the stupidity that i have blindly followed for so much of my life.

i only blame myself.