latest | older | sign | notes | profile | email | host
sep 01, 2001 6:13 p.m. self-indulgence I thought I killed myself lastnight. I really thought I did. I took my time & indulged in the pain. I felt every... single... stab... & loved it. All the while hating myself because it felt so good. In half-mad delight I cry towards a release I'll never experience. Over and over I hear the chanting "dying a little, is ok" they say. & I believe them 'cause only they can love me when I, myself, cannot. It feels so right when I die a little. If you want I'll kill you too just a little. With my mind sharper than any blade felt swifter than any bullet in your head. Join me in my ecstacy of pure evil. I'll show you how to drive the nail... in... deeper... The second it takes to know without a doubt that you are loved by the pain. Surrounded by no one I am dying just a little. & if I continue maybe I can die just a little more. Then I won't feel anything. Just like you. -End ............................ i indulged lastnight. who would have thought i would have, so soon after i had predicted it? i'm in half denial so i'm ok right now. half. never whole. |