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aug 01, 2001 9:50 p.m. i'm back "do you want me to leave or something?" (pointing to the door) "yeah. go right ahead." so i did. this was monday. i came home today. it's now wednesday. everyone lables this as running away. i see it more as me suggesting an action, and in turn, being ushered out the door. simple. well, not really. it seems it was a good idea i came home today. my grandpa was going to call the cops if i wasn't home by tonight. unnecessary drama, i say. when i first was home, my grandpa said nothing to me. it was as if he was giving me the cold shoulder. then he played nice with me, acting as if i had never been gone. i live with strange people. so really, he hasn't said much about the whole situation, which i find odd. i suppose i should be thankful, seeing as how i wasn't yelled at or grounded. tonight he made the statement, "it's a good thing you came home today, i was going to call the cops" in his nervous/trying-to-be-funny kind of voice. i simply replied in my usual cynical tone, "oh, don't i feel special." all in all, we're not saying much to each other. i think he feels partly at fault. he seems to think that all of the little comments he says to me/behind my back, is all fun. i tell him differently, constantly. he knows i take it personal and yet continues with the behaviour. so when he told me to leave, i wanted to show him that i took it seriously, whether or not that was his actual intention. i don't know what was going through my head. i was just tired of the treatment from him and everybody. plus compounded with the accumulation of other things. i never did anything like this before. do i regret it? not really. will i do it again? maybe. i think they question who i am anymore. thing is, even i don't know the answer to that. |