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mar 04, 2001 6:55pm decision i know what i have to do. of all things.. lord help me. i'm strangely calm about this..disturbingly enough. i feel like i should be freaking out or something..but i guess i've done enough of that these last 2 weeks. i never thought i would do this. i guess this is what it has come down to, though. sighs. what the hell am i doing... i must be on crack. i am on crack. this is my excuse.. i'm mental, this isn't real. this is just a nightmare i will wake from. i wish it were as easy as that. reality lost, dream realized..a year in the making. you don't understand what i am saying, i understand that... it's crap. that's all it is. i feel sick right now.. |