i smell lucky stars

my heart beats like a runaway train. my stomach aches and i try to calm myself down. this isn't the usual recreational time. no, this is what society has turned me to. not driven, not smart, not organized, not enough anyway. these are my own thoughts... the voice in my head. the voice that is wrong.

change and adaptation are not unfamiliar to me. you would read this and think myself unhappy. you would read this and think i'm binging again on my colorful delights. but i'm not. i'm actually quite happy, quite stimulated, and i have my goals in order.

what the future holds? i don't know. i only see sunshine, naive as that may be.