slightly devastated

he didn't come home last night. i had my fill of substance and temporary relief. it was always in the back of my head tho. always. when i came to terms with what was actually happening i broke down. my eyes were wet like an ocean that would never dry up. i sobbed like a child. i sobbed like i wouldn't allow myself before. and then i wrote and slept. i awoke slightly renewed and not completely hopeless. things will be ok. it's only a transition toward something better, something different, not the end. not at all.