but there's more

this is when i dislike myself the most. thinking. thinking to writing to "yes, i feel better" with a knowing nod. i am stronger than this. erased. censorshi[t]p. i just want more than this. i want me to want more than this. and i feel like i'm losing them all. it's ok but it's not. again, sigh. close that window, hide your words, your thoughts. they were never meant to be read but here you are. and here i am, but really, i was never really here.