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mar 03, 2005 8:59 p.m.

moving on (written in the past)

i don't know which is more extrodinary or complex: people or the lives they lead.

but there's more to it than that. so much more.

i remember the days when we said we loved each other and meant it. we mean it now, but in a different context. you don't LOVE me like you once did, but i understand. and as much as it pained me to realize that while reading your words, i understood. pity the things we realize when it is 'too late'. but i'm trying not to look at it like that. i'm trying to look at it in a way that isn't quite so dismal or misleading as that.

we were a beautiful thing. we were a beautifully tragic thing, a thing i don't regret, although i have regrets about certain decisions we both made. but that's life. we are young and yes, we are decidedly immature and naive. eager and anxious. waiting to be stirred with feelings and emotions we haven't yet felt, or haven't felt enough of. after 3 years i understand.

and you're right. you're so right.

just the other day i decided to accept all that has transpired with an optimistic outlook on both our futures. it's been 6 months. really, what can i expect from you? in the end, i think we expected too much from each other. too much either of us were ready or willing to give. and that's ok. it is my continual belief, silly as it may be, that everything happens for a reason.

it is not the end of us, just a chapter of our lives. and i am not afraid of what's next.

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