this was all

sitting and sipping on more-than-half empty water that stares at me with an unconvincing smile. i stare at the key num lock and find it decidedly romantic in an ironic but fascist way. and then the head lowers. not sad, but sadly drooped, and this all doesn't mean as much as it once did. or maybe it does and i've just lost interest, because after all, i thought these thoughts in an un-expressed way while now trying to express them to a pen who won't write and a paper all-too-blank. and the water is even more-than-half empty than before but i can't seem to bring myself to care. here it is, this hole i've placed myself in and don't care to come out of for reasons far too un-complicated for me to even explain.

but this will all pass very soon. this will all pass to a new feeling of something else in another way un-expressed that is trying to express itself in a nice but completely unconventional way which leaves you asking, "what?" because you simply do not understand, which is fine, for once, because it's meant to be anything but deciphered.

and now the glass is empty and not-at-all full to any extent at all. this expression is done with just like the once-there-water and the pen that wouldn't write and the paper who was afraid of ink.

this expression is done with just like the girl who sat down to write something--anything--and ended up with this, which isn't all that un-satisfying, because at this moment, it's done.