one day this will all go away

this is me,
a trivial contradiction built of
denial and defense

this is me in pain,
blank & in a catatonic state
numbing feelings that were never there

this is me laughing,
a self-induced euphoric state
that, just like drugs, wear off with time

this is me,
angry and cold
no emotion
dead

this is me,
alone inside
in a way that no one could understand