true

empty transparency

providing the sadist masochism

we all love

ignorant thinking

blocks smiles and laughter

as does my own self-corrupted thoughts

this hell i've made

is my haven

my sanctuary

from the unknown happiness i might acquire

you see

pain is predictable

but joy is not

change is the equivalent to a deceiving euphoria in my head

i'm comfortable with my tears

i'm fine with my pain

i've accepted this emptiness

this emptiness that lingers within

because the emptiness fills

what the happiness cannot

it is the only feeling that is not false to me