conflicting words

indigenous response to a reply, unreal. conquered battles in a reality known only to you. in this short, brief time, you showed me yourself in all your natural rawness.

and i responded.

i showed you the darkness within. you saw the hidden ugliness.

and you responded.

we gave each other truth. we gave each other lies. but most of all, we gave each other life. we lived off pretty words and selfish actions. a void of smoky thoughts and blood.

and then the pain.

the obsession over depression. masochistic thoughts portraying a reality that never was. cruel honesty in a moment's time killing all that we were and are.

numb, numb feeling.

aching hearts and suicidal tendencies. the past cannot be changed but the future can be rearranged.

you are broken but alive.

it hurts, i know, but i'm saving you. your pain hurts me but you will prevail. you see, you've sunk into my bones - meshed within my very being - and i can't let go. you think you can't, but you already are.

realization of the obvious is oblivious in your mind.

your tears are not in vain. i only hope this denial isn't either, because only when i am truly found out, will i fall, and your dream will become my nightmare. i don't care, though. your importance blinds all rationality.

i love you more than pain. i love you more than emptiness. i love you more than myself.