latest | older | sign | notes | profile | email | host
nov 29, 2001 7:03 a.m. drowning i think i knew at the time that i did it for my own reasons. i thought i needed that something.. and also because i was scared. deep down, i was really scared. i've said it before, and i'll say it again. i'm such a coward. now i'm dealing with the after effects of my decision. they have been continuous and nonstopping. i've really made a mess of things, haven't i? but when haven't i... sighs. there are really a lot of things i need to change about myself. i'm still going through that process of self-improvement. this will take a great deal of time, i see that now. it's worse for the people involved. they were innocent of intentions. so was i in the beginning. now i am just going on, unsure of how to react and act. unsure of what i feel. unsure of anything in general. blindly lost in a pool of uncertainty. i'm drowning. with no one to rescue me. i'm on my own now. drowning in a pool. and eventually, i won't come up. |