lack of indifference

indifference.

it was great for a while but now it's losing it's lack of feeling. slowly but surely the torment will be back..

oh well.

i feel sick. like, inside. the sadness returns. why? lack of indifference. i liked not feeling. no more guilt or sadness. just being. it reminds me of the phrase plastic existence. yeah, that's me. was me. i was plastic and so was my thought pattern.

it's funny, the exact same content we go through in psychology i seem to do the opposite of. what's up with that.

like, i'm about to relieve my depression by the wrong method, yet again.

it's almost 9pm.

tiredness.

that's me. tired of feeling and tired of not. aren't i so funny... see, there's that humor i was talking about.

i find myself incredibly funny... a bitter-sweet kind of funny.

i was going good for a while. i feel like i'm disappointing you and i don't even know you. you don't even know me but you think i'm something i'm not.

maybe it goes both ways.

what am i talking about? ugh.. omit all of that crap. i think i'm just talking in mindless circles.

oh well. so what if i am.

makes for a good read, eh?