nothing

why do i feel like this...

this.

i can't explain it... it's the same yet not.

--i find myself so comforting--

i'm high on myself again...waiting to come back down from the intensity of emotion. it's so fucking deep i can't even touch it... i don't even want to try.

i am real--please!

why do i want to cry?

i can handle this, i can handle this, i can handle this.

i'm scaring myself. but i'm ok

do you understand? no... you don't. how could you? i don't even understand it. maybe i do. i don't want to know... i can't handle it.

make it stop.

feels so good...

this won't last for long. hate to love it, because it won't last for long. long to want it, i need it. i have it, and i just can't handle... take it but don't keep it...

oh, god, no.

this is just a dream. no, not yet. it will be. i should be. i'm not but i will. it's happening. soon.

i feel as if you're getting the wrong impression. am i? i know how i am.

i wish i could tell you. i wish you would understand when/if i told you. but it won't matter. by the time you understood it would all be over.

is it over yet?

like i told my friend...

who needs drugs when you have emotions like these. its like a fuckin high..and i just can't get off.

he didn't understand, though.

i'm so tired.

i'll be fine in the morning. and when i'm down, i'll hate it again. because i'm not free like i am right now. i feel so free...

someone help me, i feel so free.